I had a thought that I wanted to try something new for the New Year, and that though was to include posts about my thoughts and ideas in my blog. I will still post illustrations and gifts, I simply think it would be nice to get to know people better, and to let them get to know me better. I had been going back and forth with this for a while, because I am actually a kind of shy person, and was not at all sure if anyone would be interested in my thoughts and ideas outside of illustrations and the like.
With the help of my dear, dear friend Lovey, I have decided to move forward with this,we discussed creating categorizes (which I will as I go along) and including illustrations, because in the end I think I communicate better through pictures. Some posts will be ideas I have of things to do, some will be my thoughts on things that have happened in my life, and some will be poems, just poems.
Without further adieu my first post, filed under the category, "How We Treat Each Other"
When I was about 16-years-old I embroidered a small square for a friend with the words "friendship is the string that binds our hearts", for years she kept it framed in her room. I am not sure where I heard the words, but they seemed the perfect thing to create out of embroidery floss. My reasons for that choice were economy, a desire to create something I knew no one else would give her and, although I am almost afraid to admit it -to convince her she should like me.
I was a nice girl, that I don't think anyone would argue that. I tried very hard to do the nice thing, yet to be honest, I am not sure my reasons were completely "nice". I wanted people to like me and I wanted to be important to them. I am afraid it took me a very long time to change this behavior, but I did.
Now the way I treat others has nothing to do with wanting them to like me, it has to do with me liking me, being the person I want to be, and truly caring about others, regardless of if they even know who I am.
I still don't always make myself happy and I do not always like the things I do, but the internal dialog has gone from "They will not like you if you do that!" to "Is this really the type of person you want to be? Is this really how you want things to happen?". People matter, not their opinions, but THEM. I have learned the beauty of feeling true compassion, I always knew what it meant, but that is much different than feeling what it is. In learning what it feels like, I have also learned that so many others feel it toward me, and it has brought such a feeling to my heart that I have been tempted to hug strangers (and I am not a person who likes to be touched).
So, would I still embroider that same design for my friend? Perhaps, if it fit her personality, but the thoughts behind it would be different. For those wondering, she and I are still friends all these years later
Thank you for reading my first "thought", if you only knew how many things I typed and erased, or how I question if my thoughts came out clearly. I appreciate that you took the time to read it. If you have a question, or want to add your thoughts to this one, please do so.
Fondly,
Tricia
